Not a picture of me…

“Cough Up A Lung!”
Sure, you’ve heard the phrase before….

but do you know what it really means?
I do!

Yesterday about choked to death

on my own spit.

(Stop laughing! It’s true!)

This isn’t the first time I’ve choked on my spit. This is one of those cool things that I inherited from my Mom’s Mom. Out of the blue, like dear Grandma, you inhale some saliva and start to cough uncontrollably.

We affectionately call this “Grandma Hill-ing” it.

This, however, was no average Grandma Hill-ing. Somehow I managed to breathe in a large amount of spittle, and proceeded to cough……

not breathe…….cough-gag-Not Breathe………Spit…choke…..cough….

squeak a little breath in, then repeat the cough-not breathe cycle 50 times!

This caused my family to FREAK OUT!! My 14 year old was bawling, and ran to her room. (she has a tendency to go from Zero to Hysterical really fast). Lego ran down the hall after me, and kept trying to come in the bathroom. (I was trying to keep him out to spare him the UGLY scene) The twins weren’t phased in the least though. They continued fighting about who got the last piece of pizza.

By the time I was finally able to breathe…….kind of……my face was purple, my eyes were red and watering, and my nose was running like crazy.

I threw out my lower back.

I almost soiled my undies.

(you didn’t want to know that)

This is what I learned from this experience:

1-Don’t inhale your spit. It is a messy situation.

2- If I am ever in a real life or death situation, I hope that I’m not alone with my 14 year old.

3-Same as above but with the Pizza fighting twins.

4- If I’m going to choke I should really choke on something cool, like calamari, it would make for a better story.

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15 thoughts on “Not a picture of me…

  1. Wow, that's really scary.

    My husband has a narrowing at the bottom of his esauphogus at the schlotzky's ring where the food drops into the stomach. He's been known to choke too and that's a pretty scary feeling. He panics and always makes sure that he has plenty of fluid to drink with his meal.

    I hope you're recovering and that you won't have to go through that very often.

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  2. I'm really glad you're okay because I would've felt really bad if you were hurt by such a silly (stupid?!) thing!

    Thanks for the laughs at your expense–you're a good friend to let us laugh at you. 🙂

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  3. AAAAAAAAAH!!! I'm sorry, I'm sooo glad you're okay….but I am hysterically laughing right now, because #1 you're a wonderful storyteller, #2 I have a thirteen year old girl that does the EXACT same thing, she sticks her fingers in her ears and runs to her room anytime there's trauma, what is it with that? lol and #3 First I read another blog about morning sickness barf (there's actually a giveaway to celebrate the 100th barf lol) and now your spittle incident. What a morning read. Ok, I'm done laughing, and I really am so glad you're okay to blog about it, that has happened to me before and it is so painful and annoying, bless your heart.
    ♥ Teresa

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  4. LOL Jana! I choke on my spit all the time. I have had a few episodes that were really bad like yours. My kids are so used to it, they ignore me when it happens. It seems to be getting worse the older I get lol

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  5. I'm sorry I'm laughing! But only because it happens to me ALL THE TIME! Mike just sits there and laughs at me. At least your DH is kind enough to try to get into the bathroom to save your life! haha

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  6. I Grandma hilled it the other day, and then my pregnant gag kicked in I thought my eyes were going to pop out of there sockets!!!

    All I can say is this is something I would not be proud to pass on to my family. Maybe G-G Hill wanted to scare the poop outof us every once in a while, get us back to reality.

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  7. That is so funny! Especially because it has happened to all of us before! Teenagers! Kids! Makes you wonder how important Mom's really are – apart from being the resident slave, of course!

    Like

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